Many people wake up in the morning craving breakfast food. Not me. Just like any other time of the day I crave burgers. It could have something to do with the fact that I try to wake up more around lunch time than breakfast time, but that’s beside the point.

Thus, I found myself at Blondies in Las Vegas’s Planet Hollywood ordering a burger as my first meal of the day, I’m not going to play the victim here, I only do it because I know I’ll spent way too much time playing with the digitaledge casino games so I’ll probably won’t catch up on lunch later on.

It’s almost a ritual at this point; I find myself spending hours diving into the world of digital sports betting, placing bets on my favorite teams, and enjoying the thrill of live casino games.

The beauty of platforms like Sbobet is that they offer a one-stop shop for all things betting. Whether I’m placing sportsbook bets on an upcoming football match or spinning the reels of exciting slots, there’s always something to keep me entertained. It’s easy to see how online betting has become such a captivating way to pass the time, all while potentially making some winnings along the way.

As with much of my time spent in Vegas, my memory is mildly fuzzy on the name of the burger that I ordered and the online menu is outdated. Thus, I’m going to refer to the burger as the Southwest Bacon Burger, as it was topped with guacamole, bacon and jalapenos. It was also stuffed with cheese, although it was not referred to as a jucy lucy or juicy lucy. Whatevs, we all know what it was. I ordered without any other veggies and got some curly fries on the side (although the burger does not normally come with a side).

My veggie desires were not heeded, as I found onions placed on the top of my bun as well as a big, stupid pickle spear grazing my bun. Fortunately, neither of these managed to leave many remnants and I did my best to recover from the trauma by eating. Like many places that make stuffed burgers, Blondies seemed to hope that cheese would provide the flavor needed for the burger. As always, this was not the case and the meat itself left me wanting more. I will say, though, that the bacon was cooked perfectly, the guac was nice and creamy despite likely being made in a factory and the jalapenos gave it all kick in the blonde parts (wherever those may be. The curly fries were impressive as curly fries tend to be and of course the molten cheese center of the burger was glorious.

Overall, this was a pretty good showing for a bar that probably doesn’t have to try very hard with its food. Probably not a top destination type of place, but certainly respectable if you’re going to be drinking at Blondies anyway.

Why is nutrition important?

2014 is here, but my 2013 may have been the best year of eating in the history of the world, so it’s time for another Unvegan Best of. The past year included a honeymoon, an epic month-long road trip and a move from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh, so my list has broadened beyond LA and narrowing down the awesome was quite the process. Nonetheless, I encourage you all to go back through my Reviews section to see what didn’t quite make the cut. Remember that the list only includes places new to The Unvegan and bear in mind that Honorable Nods this year would probably be winners any other year. Without further ado:

Best Burger

Plan Check (Los Angeles)

Double cheese, double bacon and an egg and patty cooked to perfection made the Chefs Favorite burger a winner in a very tightly contested category.

Honorable Nods to Edgewood Corner Tavern (Atlanta) and Matt’s Bar (Minneapolis)

Best BBQ

The Smoke Joint (Brooklyn)

Don’t waste time thinking about what to order. Just order everything. And the Beef Ribs.

Honorable Nod to YinzBurgh BBQ (Pittsburgh)

Best Steak

Delmonico Steakhouse (Las Vegas)

The Bone-in Ribeye here is like butter, which may be because it is cooked in butter, but I don’t care.

Honorable Nod to Taylor’s Steak House (Los Angeles)

Best Wings

Buffalo Blues (Pittsburgh)

I admit that these wings earn extra points because of their Buffalo Blue Fries, but the wings are still quite delicious.

Honorable Nod to Hot’s Kitchen (Los Angeles)

Best Hot Dog

Franktuary (Pittsburgh)

Grass-fed, snappy and with all sorts of good toppings, as long as you go with hot dogs, you can’t go wrong here.

Best Sandwich

Joey Broadway (Vancouver)

Somehow, Joey Broadway made an adult grilled cheese without ruining all the joy that comes with that most comforting of foods.

Honorable Nods to Primanti Brothers (Pittsburgh) and Philippe’s (Los Angeles)

Best Pizza

Mercato di Vetro (Los Angeles)

Blackberries and bacon on pizza. What could go wrong? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Honorable Nod to Lucifer’s Pizza (Los Angeles)

Best Breakfast/Brunch

Zingerman’s Roadhouse (Ann Arbor)

Grits and bacon in a waffle. If anyone still thinks Zingerman’s is just about sandwiches, it’s time to get to the Roadhouse.

Honorable Nod to Pamela’s (Pittsburgh)

Best ‘Merican (Formerly Gastropub)

North End Caffe (Los Angeles)

Everything this place churns out is gold (including their spelling of Caffe) and the staff there know it and love it even more than the customers do.

Honorable Nod to Buckhead Diner (Atlanta)

Best Mexican

Mexicali (Los Angeles)

Somehow Mexicali found a way to innovate Mexican food to a level Taco Bell still hasn’t thought of.

Honorable Nod to Leo’s Taco Truck (Los Angeles)

Best Random Ethnic (by region)

Africa

Arnold’s (Cape Town)

Best warthog ribs ever.

Asia

Night + Market (Los Angeles)

The Thai you’d eat if you were Thai.

Europe

Point Brugge (Pittsburgh)

Belgian Fries FTW!

Middle Eastern

Cafe Turko (Seattle)

The touch, the feel of Turkey. In Seattle.

South/Central American

Peru Chix (Los Angeles)

Who knew Torrance was a hotbed of Peruvian delights?

For 2013 Only:

Best Place to Stop on a Coastal Drive

We have a tie!

Splash Cafe (Pacific Coast Highway)

The best damn chowder.

And:

Chapman’s Peak Hotel (Chapman’s Peak Drive)

The best damn calamari.

And that’s a wrap. Meanwhile, you can also check out 2012 and 2011 for more listage.

Remember when Hooters was as exciting as restaurants got? Not food-wise, of course, but ummm boob-wise. Well, those days are as dead as the Cold War. Last year I learned this firsthand at the Tilted Kilt and on my recent visit to Las Vegas the point was driven home, hard, at Twin Peaks. It was at Twin Peaks that we basically established our base camp for our time in Las Vegas. The only trouble was it was hard to concentrate on the basketball games with so much else to look at.

But somewhere in the middle of all the viewing, we managed to eat. As a lover of wings, I figured these were my best bet. Over the course of the weekend I tried three of their four flavors, which were Red Hot, Smoky BBQ and Ghost Pepper. I skipped Green Chili Parmesan because it seemed dumb.

These three flavors were all quite good, with the Ghost Pepper being the tastiest and not at all as intimidating as it sounded. I had been falsely led to believe that the Smoky BBQ would be spicier than the Red Hot, which was okay because of boobs and because the BBQ sauce was pretty good. The chicken itself was also nice, with each wing and drummy being meaty, juicy and tender.

As with most wings, these came with celery despite not mentioning this on the menu. This counted against Twin Peaks, but luckily celery is not a vegetable prone to ruining food by simply existing near it.

As a bonus, Twin Peaks also has a climbing wall, which is how they avoid simply being a pun of a bar.

Come for the views, stay for the food. It’s not as good as the views, but it’s still great bar food.

In the depths of the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, there is a multitude of fancy restaurants just waiting for the eating. But wanting to get on the road and needing a quick bite, we made our way to a sandwich shop called ‘wichcraft. I liked the nice little pun they used there, and also thought it might be a Tom Colicchio restaurant because of the “craft” used in the name (I later confirmed this, but I must confess I didn’t know who Tom Colicchio was until a few minutes before settling on ‘wichcraft).

After a long look (the line took forever) at the long sandwich menu, I finally decided on a nice, simple, unvegan sandwich. It was simply called the Prosciutto with Sweet Butter and was just that. No lettuce. No tomato. Just nice, simple and at the appropriate price of $7.50. Served on a baguette, the sandwich took about five minutes to prepare (along with a couple other things I ordered for the girlfriend) and then it was reading for viewing and eating.

Upon sandwich devouring, I found that the baguette was quite soft. It sure could have used some crisp to the crust, but the interior of the roll was a good texture. The prosciutto, as with most prosciutto, was delicious. Very few sandwiches have prosciutto as the centerpiece, but it can definitely hold its own. As for the butter, I was really excited that this was the central lubricant of the sandwich. Where most sandwiches go for mayo, oil or some sort of aioli, I grew up eating sandwiches with butter on them. Okay, it was usually margarine, but you get the point. So I was excited for the butter and it did its job well, but it wasn’t amazing. Right, I know butter can’t really be amazing, but the sweetness was so subtle that it may as well not have been there. This was a shame, because a bit more sugar could have made this sandwich awesome.

Instead, it stayed as just ‘some.

Out in Vegas for a buddy’s 30th (yes, he is that old), we had a bit of a group birthday to celebrate. Ordinarily, this might be cause for someone to expect to drop much more money than they want to. But he chose a place called the Sugar Factory in the Paris and a quick look at the menu revealed something quite reasonable, especially by Vegas standards.

Connected to a candy shop, both sweets and their bar serve as a good waiting area before getting seated. In fact, you can combine the two, as the Sugar Factory has a bunch of sharkbowl-esque drinks, with one even filled with shark gummies. But enough about the sweets and the awesome race we had on each side of the table to see who could finish their massive goblet first. That matters little to an unvegan.

As I perused the menu, I immediately found myself staring at the Pizza Burger ($16). This thing contained mozzarella, provolone, pepperoni and a marinara sauce. It also came with fries. So not only was it perfect for an unvegan, but it was also the first time I had ever seen pizza ingredients offered on a burger like this. I hoped that it would be half as mind-blowing as the pizza nachos I discovered in Michigan last summer. But I wasn’t content with just that and teed up my burger with an order of their Fried Macaroni & Cheese Pops. This mac and cheese was battered, rolled into a ball, deep fried and plopped in some creamy tomato-herb sauce.

They came served like an upside-down lollipop with a stick through and already chilling in the sauce. They looked delicious, but made me realize this was one of the only dishes on the regular savory menu that paid some sort of homage to the name of the restaurant. No, they weren’t sugary, but they were kind of like lollipops. It was a little disappointing, as it would have been awesome to see what kind of culinary creations they could have come up with to mix sweet with savory. Like a burger with a sweet sauce or pizza with chocolate chips tossed on for good measure (yes, they have dessert pizza, but I’m thinking outside the box here). But I digress, the mac and cheese pops were quite delicious and the sauce they were in did a great job of keeping them from drying out and giving the mouth more than one simple flavor.

As for the burger, it was surprisingly huge and must have weighed in at at least half a pound. With the toppings it was probably more. I had realized too late that the waitress didn’t ask me how I wanted it cooked, so when I dug in, I crossed my fingers in the hopes that it had been cooked medium rare. Unfortunately, it was on the darker end of medium. Yet, I would not let this get to me, I still had pizza on top of a burger. I loved the use of two cheeses and was quite happy with the marinara. After all, going from ketchup to marinara isn’t exactly a big jump. At this point, it was pretty much a cheeseburger with a tweak, but the pepperoni was an awesome touch. And these weren’t your boring evenly sliced pepperonis, they were thick, uneven and seemed like they had been chopped from a pepperoni log in the kitchen rather than some factory. Oh and there was the bun, which was a bit too spongy, but may have been a good juice absorber had the burger been cooked a bit less. I don’t know though, so I can’t exactly give it a grade based on potential.

Finally, the fries were pretty good, but really nothing amazing. Again, it would have been sweet (pun intended) to see them do something sugary with the fries. They are really sitting on some golden opportunities here.

So as Vegas goes, the Sugar Factory is really a great choice. It’s reasonable, somewhat creative and has pretty good food. The burger wasn’t amazing, but I definitely enjoyed it. And maybe if it had spent a little less time cooking, it could have found its way near the top of my burger list. If only.

In my continuing quest to find the greatest buffet in Las Vegas (and eventually the world!), I may have found one to stand toe to toe with Rio’s Carnival World Buffet. Situated in Planet Hollywood, the Spice Market Buffet doesn’t fit into the Hollywood theme, at least in name. It also doesn’t bear any resemblance to a Spice Market. Nonetheless, it does use spices and the walls are adorned with food-related movie posters like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! and Breakfast at Tiffany’s (two very similar movies). The lunch buffet cost 25 bucks, but as soon as I looked around, I knew it was going to be well worth the price.

Spread around the place were signs naming the types of food sprawled beneath. There was Seafood, Italian, Asian, American, Dessert, Middle-Eastern, Soup, Mexican and of course two Salad stations that I would have avoided completely had they not had both fruit and cheese. Our waiter, Juan, was awesome and even though his job was the simple task of clearing our plates and bringing us drinks, he was just about the friendliest restaurant worker in the world. After putting in my drink order, I had the enviable task of deciding where the hell to start eating. A brief walk and I knew just where to go.

American.

My foray into my native country brought me prime rib, bacon, citrus-marinated chicken and mashed potatoes. This was a hell of a strong start. The prime rib was already juicy, but the au jus I ladled onto it made it even juicier and tastier. I was lucky enough to get a thick cut, but the thickness did not get in the way of the tenderness. The thing was a bit fatty, but not so much that I felt I wasn’t getting enough meat. Plus, had I wanted more I could have just gone up and gotten it. I followed this with some delicious bacon. This stuff managed to somehow be both crispy and melty. The initial bite was nice and solid, but as soon as it got in my mouth, it melted like delicious pig-tummy butter. The mashed potatoes made a nice side and although they could have just used some sort of mix, these were the real deal: creamy, salty and full of skin. My least favorite was the chicken, which didn’t taste bad, but was just something I felt no need to waste any additional stomach space on. After all, space is everything. And the final frontier. I was ready for my next plate.

Mexican.

Continuing my culinary world tour, I headed south of the border for some Mexican food. Part of the setup was a sort of taco/fajita bar, while the other side was more of a salsa station. I decided to make the most of both and created some loaded nachos. First I piled a bunch of nachos on the plate, then carefully picked out asada and chicken from their respective fajita trays, making sure not to accidentally grab any peppers. Next, I piled on their beans and then moved to the cheese. In hindsight, since the cheese was shredded and not melted, I should have put it on before the beans so it would melt, but alas, hindsight is 20/20. But I wasn’t done, I topped it off with some spicy red salsa and some guacamole, then finally returned to eat it. It looked and tasted like a thing of beauty. It had just the right ratio of components that no single ingredient overpowered. Once again, my least favorite was the chicken, because it was a bit dry, but the beans were enough to keep the mood wet. Yet, despite this wetness, the chips maintained their strength. So much so that 15 minutes into eating, they were just as crisp as they had been in the beginning. No floppy chips here. Now what?

Italian and Seafood.

Since neither of these nations of food offered me enough for a full plateful (or my stomach was getting packed), I decided to combine the two. I began with pizza and lasagna, then took a couple of tempura shrimp (which really bridges the gap of Asian and Seafood). The pizza wasn’t just some half-assed effort to get kids to eat at their buffet. In fact, they had a real wood-fired oven to cook the pizza in. It didn’t compare to the wood-fired pizza at most restaurants that are dedicated to that particular food, but was certainly a big step up from chain pizza. The lasagna, though, was just plain decent. Rolled up as though it was canneloni, it tasted fine, but wasn’t special enough to waste more than a biteful of my stomach. Finally, I crunched into the shrimp tempura. I always find shrimp walks a fine line between rubbery and tasty, but this shrimp had been so thoroughly fried that any semblance of its original texture was long gone. In its place was crispy, amazing shrimp tempura, which despite being so fried, refused to be dried out. Hell, I would eat my shoe if it were fried like that. By now, I was slowing down, but still fighting.

Middle-Eastern.

Like so many people throughout history, I took the fight to the Middle-East. Here I encountered hummus, pita, tandoori chicken skewers (Middle-East/India…same thing) and some chicken curry. This was definitely the most disappointing part of my meal. The hummus was just kind of too thick without being creamy. It wasn’t dry, as some hasty hummus can be, but after a few bites I was finished. As for the skewers, I found them to be a bit dry, and although I tried to moisten them up with some curry, I quickly found out that the curry was actually marinara sauce. Actually not bad marinara, but definitely not in the right place. The chicken curry had also been cooked in marinara. Again, I would have liked it had I found it in the Italian section, but this wasn’t quite right. I hoped my next plate would be better.

Asian.

My stomach was nearing capacity and I really just went to the Asian area to get some tastes. This began with crab rangoon (again bridging the Asian/Seafood gap), then moved to lemon chicken and beef chow mein noodles. The crab rangoon was a nice surprise of taste and tasted even better when dipped into the sweet Thai chili sauce. The lemon chicken was a strange twist on orange chicken, except they had apparently used lemon instead of orange. The difference was negligible, but still tasted pretty good. Finally, the beef chow mein tasted pretty good, but the noodles were so thick that I could hardly get them into my belly. I’m glad I didn’t start out with these noodles, because although they tasted good, they were just too filling for me to have wasted early space on.

I finished off my meal with as much fruit as I could find. I needed to do my stomach at least some sort of favor in that meal, plus I would rather have fruit than any other dessert. In the end, I was ready to pass out, but instead I had a four hour drive ahead of me. I knew that for the full four hours my digestive system would be working overtime, but it was sure worth it. This was definitely a buffet worthy of rivaling Rio. The Asian and Middle-Eastern sections could have used a little additional effort, but there was really little to complain about. Plus, I know they add even more skewers and crab legs for their dinner, so if lunch isn’t variety enough for you, dinner sounds even better.

In Vegas for CES, I was lucky enough to be invited out for a little lunch at Benihana at the Hilton of Las Vegas. I had never heard of anyone going to Benihana for lunch (outside of The Office), but I wasn’t about to turn it down. If you don’t know Benihana, you’ve probably been living under a rock, but as a Japanese steakhouse, they cook in the teppanyaki style, which involves cooking on a huge griddle that also happens to be part of the table. For lunch they were cooking up steak, chicken, shrimp, mushrooms, onions and peppers, plus a salad for a set price of $24.99. This was actually a really good price for both Benihana and Vegas in general, so after ordering a Sapporo, I was ready to eat.

The chef came out and started working his magic. The chicken came first because that was going to take the longest to cook, but soon enough came the shrimp and the veggies. I was a little disappointed to find out midway through that our chef wasn’t going to do any fun cooking tricks with the shrimp or onions. Usually there’s a shrimp flip into the hat or an onion plume, but we were treated to none of that. Apparently they don’t do that for lunch. I was a little disappointed, but if I wanted a show in Vegas, Benihana wasn’t exactly going to give me the best anyway.

The chef dished out the shrimp and then the veggies, which I politely declined. Finally, the best part of the meal came out: the steak. It looked delicious and well-marbled. There was actually a full steak for each person at the table and he cooked them to order. During its short cooking time, I downed my shrimp by dipping it in the couple sauces we had been given. One seemed to be a sesame kind of sauce and the other was a salty ginger sauce. Both added a different touch to the shrimp and tasted pretty good. When I was done, both the chicken and steak were ready for eating.

And both were damn good. The chicken was nice and juicy, and although it didn’t have a ton of its own flavor, it tasted really good in the sesame sauce. The steak, though, was definitely the highlight of the meal. It was juicy and tender and had been cooked just the right amount. It even tasted great in the ginger sauce. On its own, the steak probably would have made the meal worthwhile, but coupled with the chicken and shrimp, this meal was definitely a great deal.

I’d definitely head back to Benihana for a meal like this at a price like that. I was a little disappointed that the chef didn’t have any fun with the food, but the food made up for it.

Before I begin, I first want to apologize for the poor quality pictures. For some reason, The Golden Nugget decided that their buffet needed a lot of yellowish lighting, and getting rid of that was no easy task. So even though the pictures are grainy as hell and jaundiced in color, at least they give some sort of idea of what the food looked like…not that looks could do anything to save this buffet.

Now, for some reason I have always loved Fremont Street in Las Vegas. Maybe it’s the guys trying to sell you coke in the middle of the street, the crazy light displays or the free beads at La Bayou. Whatever it is, it has some unvegan allure. And for a while now, I’ve been hearing that Fremont has some damn good buffets. With that in mind, my buddy and I headed to the nicest casino down there, The Golden Nugget, thinking their buffet would be the cream of Fremont’s crop.

Boy were we wrong.

Admission was 20 bucks and I already knew something was fishy. Part of the point of eating on this end of town was to eat cheaper, but this was comparable to a lot of the main strip. But there was one bonus, bottomless champagne. This made me feel better about forking over my black jack winnings and I hoped the food would at least be decent.

But nope, instead of decent, we got food that was passable. It was edible, but eating it was no fun. I started with some hummus and pita, french toast and bacon. The hummus was dry, the french toast was just okay and the bacon was surprisingly awesome. It was crunchy, salty and smokey, and was almost good enough to save that first plate.

Then came plate number 2. I tested out some mashed potatoes, Hawaiian pizza, sweet and sour chicken and a mini bagel. The bagel could have come from plastic bag and was fine, but nothing special. The pizza tasted like it had been sitting under a heat lamp for about 12 hours. The cheese seemed to have melted and congealed countless times, making it quite terrible. The chicken was just alright and the mashed potatoes at least served as some filler.

In most buffets, there would be plates 3-7, but not at the Golden Nugget. By the time I got through two rounds, I was ready to move on to dessert. There was a nice selection of pastries and these actually ended up being the second best part of the meal (after the bacon). Now if you know me, you know I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. So when I say the best part of the buffet was the dessert, then you know it was a terrible buffet.

So if you want my advice, avoid the buffet at The Golden Nugget. The Nugget is certainly worth a visit to go swimming around a shark tank and to see a really big golden nugget, but for buffets you can do so much better in Vegas. SOOO much better.

If you’ve ever been to Vegas, you’ve probably heard of a nightclub called Tao in the Venetian. But did you know there was also a restaurant called Tao? No? Well neither did I, but when I went to Vegas, my buddy had an elaborate plan of attack one night. First, he found out that the restaurant existed. Next, he found out that you could get into the club for free if you eat at the restaurant. Lastly, he made us a reservation for the place at 9:45 for some pre-club eating. Not much of a clubber, I just hoped the food would be good enough to enjoy without that extra clubbing incentive.

Arriving right on time, we were asked to take a seat in the lounge to wait for our table. Thinking this would only take a couple minutes, we obediently took a seat. Then we waited. And waited. And finally, after 25 minutes of sitting around waiting for our reservation, we were actually seated. So far no good. We were taken to a table upstairs and at that point I realized that the restaurant was pretty huge and also had a pretty cool interior design, including a colossal Buddha that could rival the Daibutsu of Todaiji, sitting in a fountain.

Soon after being seated, we were greeted by a friendly and very helpful waiter. He helped us around the menu and we decided to start the meal off with their Crispy Lobster and Shrimp Dumplings ($16). Then, for my main course I chose their Kung Pao Chicken ($26). I wasn’t expecting it to be authentic, but I figured a mainstream place like this could at least make it well and still leave me room for beer afterward. But while ordering, I was so hungry, I completely forgot to ask about any vegetables. It would prove to be a mistake.

The dumplings ended up tasting pretty good. I’m not sure they were worth the full 16 bucks, but since they had lobster I was willing to give Tao the benefit of the doubt. Then came my main course. As usual, my lack of asking about vegetables led to a veggie-laden dish. Sprinkled throughout were onions and peppers. Luckily for Tao, they were cut so huge, it was pretty easy navigating myself around them while eating. The real part of my meal wasn’t too shabby either. The chicken was juicy and their “Kung Pao” sauce, although tasting nothing like real Kung Pao, at least had some good flavoring. The peanuts seemed like kind of an afterthought and had definitely not been mixed in while the meat was cooking. Instead, they were just sort of tossed on to make the food prettier after all the cooking was done.

So was it worth the 26 bucks? Dear God no. It wasn’t bad by any means, but I also could have paid 7 bucks for the same food at the Chinese take-out place around the corner. Yet, in this case I was not simply paying for the food. Instead, I was paying for ambiance and a free trip to the Tao nightclub (where I stayed for about 12 minutes before heading to the Black Jack tables). So in this regard, I could have had a lot worse food and a much worse experience. Ultimately, Tao is a good idea if you really want to hit up their club. Otherwise, you can definitely find better food (and wait time) in Vegas.

My usual drive to Las Vegas involves getting there as fast as possible to gamble and returning as fast as possible to cry into my pillowcase after losing copious amounts of money. This trip, however, was a bit different. Rather than a rush back home, we took our time and stopped for lunch.

Anyone who has made the drive between Los Angeles and Las Vegas knows of the Mad Greek Cafe. Billboards seem to advertise the “Best Gyro” every few miles, so for our little road trip lunch, we thought a trip to Baker, California and a stop at the Mad Greek Cafe would be worth our while.

Even though it was well-past 2:00, the place was packed. A menu on the wall had a surprisingly short list of Greek food and was instead populated with more American food like hamburgers. One of the Greek items was the gyro, and since this was supposed to be the best gyro, like ever, I had to try it for myself. The menu said it came with tomatoes and onions, but I ordered mine without. It also came with rice and tzatziki sauce. I placed my order and took a seat to wait.

When my gyro arrived, I was both stunned and disgusted. Overflowing from beneath the gyro meat seemed to be thousands of little lettuce leaves. I would have thought the best gyro in the USA would have at least warned me what was inside so I could order without it. Instead I was left to dissect the gyro and slowly remove the nefarious leaves. I opened up the little container of tzatziki sauce and was sad to find that it was dominated by cucumbers. Yes, I know tzatziki is a cucumber sauce, but usually I can get around the chunks of cucumber. This was not the case at the Mad Greek Cafe. Instead, I was putting paltry amounts of tzatziki on my gyros.

Once the sandwich was edible, I began to eat. It wasn’t a bad sandwich, but somehow the glam of being the best gyro in the USA faded away as I exerted myself to remove the lettuce. The meat was pretty good, and worth stopping for if you get hungry on the way to or from Vegas, but certainly not worth visiting on any sort of special trip.